Here I am, burnt to a crisp, rolling into week 3 of FUNemployment in Paradise
(which is the name of a program I’m developing for wealthy millennials who want to take photos for their Instagram in developing equatorial nations, sign up today)!
One of the beautiful things about donating most of your worldly belongings to Goodwill for a second time in three years is that it builds…character. When we were weighing our options to stay or leave California, our hesitation was seasoned with a dash of salty memories from being BROKE from moving. They say financial challenges are the leading cause of divorce. I say financial challenges are the leading cause of a good marriage if you’re willing to get crafty -but then again what do I know, I’ve been married for like 5 minutes TBH.
BONUS: If you want to test your relationship but are all out of ex-texts and pregnancy scares, here’s how to do it.
- Get rid of everything that wont fit in a 2-door Honda Civic and drive with your bae through the Heartland a.k.a. Purgatory. Make sure to get the flu by Iowa.
- When you arrive on the Golden Coast, spend all your money at IKEA and then realize you cant eat matching nightstands. Fill your over-sized, overpriced condo with pillows. Justify each of 12 slotted spoons’ place in your home with reasoning that some are wooden and some are better for certain sauces.
- Don’t take the cat to the vet, commute 3 hours a day, be a student for eternity, fall into a series of brief and disillusioning jobs that suck your soul out of your body, plan a wedding, see the sun once every 7 days, stay when rent goes up, go back and forth between hating yourself and hating everyone else, finally take the cat to the vet.
- All of this.
- Be at a crossroads where you can decide to do it over again.
- Say yes.
This time, not just any slotted spoon is going to crowd up our tiny kitchen. When we decided to relocate again it was with a serious intention to do it right, without falling into expected routines unintentionally laid like traps by literally everyone -make money, spend money, sleep, repeat, eventually disappear from the face of the earth still talking about high school. I think simply knowing that there are alternative ways to live is enough reason to fight like hell to get there. I’m lucky enough to have a best friend to make that journey with. Our old routine didn’t leave me with much energy to be as grateful as I should be for that, but in the act of letting go of things, like belongings, you can decide what stays, like gratitude (AND WHAT YOU CAN INTRODUCE, LIKE BOOGIE BOARDS).
Here’s an idea of what downsizing looks like right now:
Things are less impressive and less expensive! We just got a used futon (which is at all times absolutely covered in sand). Our apartment is less than 400 square feet and the kitchen consists of a hot plate and toaster oven. There is one closet. We have approximately 3 outfits each, and my butt cheeks are always 1) visible & 2) sticking to something. Stacked up next to the lives of other people our age from similar backgrounds, what we have doesn’t look like much. In a repulsively cliche way, I’ve never been happier.
Sometimes it gets hard in the middle of daily life to put little details in their place. There’s a tiny Emily Post in the back of my mind screaming like a banshee when we opt out of owning more than 2 bath towels…And then I realize I don’t care and go have a delicious Li-Hing malasada while floating on a watermelon tube, butt cheeks in the sun.